Empathy

What was most interesting, valuable, or surprising to you in your results? Do you agree/disagree with any of them? Explain your thinking.
I was surprised that one of my daughters thought I had a much higher “positive outlook.” I scored 14 for myself in this section. I scored 20 points with her answers. It was interesting for me to learn that she sees me in this way because I thought she sees me as fairly negative or even apathetic.
I was surprised that this daughter gave me the same score for Adaptability that I gave myself. I thought she would see me as fairly rigid. I am encouraged to know that is not how she sees me.
My daughter gave me a score of 15 for Empathy. This was surprising to me because I thought she would have seen me as more understanding. In our post quiz conversation she noted that I can “get stuck” on things. She said that she can tell I am trying to understand underlying feelings. She said, “like, the attempt is there, but you get stuck.”
I do not disagree with any of her answers. She is very direct and felt safe in helping me with this quiz and the conversation afterward. I am glad I have this kind of relationship with her because I do not have this with all of my children.

Which dimensions are you most interested in improving or in building on your existing strengths? How might you go about doing this?
I am most interested in improving my score of empathy. I clearly see myself differently than my children and husband. In fact, I have prided myself in thinking I am doing such a great job at really understanding where people are coming from when they make the choices they make. I can see I have a lot of improvement to do in this area.

Secondly, and the area that will require more work for me, is Emotional Self Control. In all quiz scores, this is where I scored the lowest. I need to improve my impulses most of all. I have given into impulses as a coping device for stressors in my life. As a result I have a vast costume jewelry collection of a particular brand. I recently discovered another designer and started a new collection. The jewelry is colorful and big. It makes me feel joy even when I am not wearing it. I buy it in the moment, and mostly I buy it to cope.

Additionally, even though I have made what I think are herculean improvements in giving the appearance of calm in the face of pressure, I still have work to do. I have done a lot of work to think quickly and instead of pulling a face or making a comment, I can sit in it and just listen. However, according to my scores with my family, I have a long way to go.

What new information might you apply in your current or future work environment as a school leader?
Dr. Hughes, another professor in this course, said often that as Administrators, we should know the law so that we know how to work within it. I will keep this in mind while I continue to work on empathy. It is important for me to understand the why of behavior before I can deal with the staff on improvements.
Which connections can you see between your reading in Primal Leadership so far this semester and your results and reading for this quiz? Both were published by Harvard Business Review, so these two publications are designed to complement each other.
The connections I see are in the steps of “Taking Stock.” I have been working on self-improvement since May 2020. On the same day, I lost all communication with my oldest daughter due to my own misunderstandings of abuse. Hours later my mother died because she fell victim to the covid fearmongering and refused to go to the hospital when her pacemaker started to fail. I had a breakdown and worked diligently to come to terms with my part in the loss of my daughter and to grieve my mother with whom I had a difficult relationship. I have asked myself, “who do I want to be,” “who am I now,” and “how do I get from here to there.” These have been my guiding questions and the framework of the work I have done so far to get to where I am. I am proud of the work I have done and where I am and know that I can continue to improve myself so that others can feel my love for them better.